A Wrench in the Gearbox

In my younger days I had a toolbox that was peppered with stickers. Bands, nasty limerics, and product stickers from go-fast companies all covered the sides and inside the top lid of the box. One of my favorites was one which read "the right tool for the job" and it pictured a screwdriver, a bong, and a wrench. Basicially, if you are going to screw it, smoke it, or torque it, you need the right equipment. When I graduated from protable boxes to my Matco rollaway box, I gave up the juvenile practice of littering my equipment. I would like to think I have accumulated a respectable collection of tools in the twenty plus years I have been wrenching on things. I have a full box and plenty more equipment that will not fit into it. This is a sign of establishment and personal pride.
I have struggled with the distributor on an old Buick 231 with a piece of crap wrench until my knuckles bled. A mentor and friend laughed and asked me what the fuck I was doing as he handed me a Snap-On wrench specific for the job. Like holding a magic wand, the job was done in seconds. The following day I bought my own. People who do not understand why I would pay forty bucks for one wrench. The answer is simple, when it makes the job that easy it is worth every penny.
Snap-On or Matco trucks are easy enough to find. Even easier when you work at a shop and they come to you. They are the only way to go for the specialty tools. We all know where a Sears is for the everyday stuff, a good portion of my tools are Craftsman. Working on the Triumph, my cherry was popped in a vulgar fashion. None of my stuff works. WTF!?! Another mentor who used to work on Triumphs for a living clued me in to two terms which are presently cursewords in my book: Whitworth and BSI. Old British fasteners are neither metric or standard. Just to work on the bike, I need to purchase a whole new set of tools. Sockets, special pullers, and a BSI Tap and Die set. CRAAAAP!
I don't mind purchasing new tools, hell I can buy tools like women buy shoes. Actually that is a lie. I will not buy some trendy piece of shit to be used once and cast aside. I take pride in the tools I own, which means I will find high quality pieces that will outlast my mortal existence. Point in case: I own a few Craftsman tools that my Grandfather purchased back in the 1930's. The problem is that I cannot walk into Sears or a tool truck and pruchase what I need. I have to order the tools online or mail order and pray the are not some piece of shit chrome-vanadium SK quality tools.
That my readers, is a wrench in the gearbox.

Eastern European Work

Piece by peice, I am taking the engine apart and going through it. Much to my pleasure and suprise I have not found much rust or irrepairable corrosion. The latest advance has been to Pole-ish the covers. A good client/mentor of mine was cool enough to polish and deck my cam cover. I did not want to take advantage of his kindness so I set out to clean 15 years of outdoor corrosion off the other two covers myself. What a pain in the balls. I spent the better part of the afternoon working on them. They still do not look as good as the cam cover that Stu had done. More persistance will get me there.

Snakebite

I have no timeline for this chopper project. Timelines only lead to frustration or haste. On time is when I get there. I got that line from McDermott, so if you are out there in cyberland or cheeseville, you were good for something. Normally I would buy necessary shit for the project before I buy frivolous trappings but this one I could not resist. My first Ebay purchase for the bike arrived today and I am stoked. It is a five foot long Cobra hide with a head on it. One may think WTF for? Well, I just had to. I am thinking of running it down the center of the tank, upholstering it into the seat, and continuing it down the rear fender. Funny as it is, I don't even have a tank or a seat for it yet. Just so I don't sound like a complete jackass, I did actually purchase a gasket set and a parts manual for the bike before anything else. That's it for now. I will post again once I have actually done some more work.

Hideous Chud

There are times when confirmation of ones thoughts are a comfort. Other times you take a step back and say AW FUCK! I brought the engine home from my buddies place for two reasons. One: sitting next to one of his five Harleys it started to mark it's territory and leak on his garage floor. Two: I wanted to be able to work on it as I please, and not have to go to his house to do so. So I bought a pair of sawhorses and set the frame upon them. I then set the motor into the frame and placed a catch pan under the transmission drain. I suspected a healthy amount of shit to drain out, I was shocked to see much worse. Out came a quart of water followed by a few tablespoons of sludge that was once a petroleum product. Off comes the kicker and outer tranny cover and out comes more tar. CRAAAAP. So now I am already prepared for the worst and pull the engine drain. Two more quarts of water and some milky chud. It was still dripping black ooze when I walked away in disgust twenty minutes later.

I knew I would have to tear the engine down and go through it. I 'm not dumb enough to put my stamp upon the unknown and call it good enough. I believed the seller when he told me it only had a few hundred miles since it was "rebuilt" then parked. I was glad to see it was not seized up upon purchase, but now I wonder how much rust lives inside the cases.

I suspected there would be some issues, I just hope there aren't and beached Carp now that the water is gone.

Tales of the Choppa

Boing. So I have stripped the Choppa frame down to 89% metal. The next step would be to have it blasted and coated, right? Nagging in the middle of my brain sez not yet. The front of my brain yells out "Hook it Up and make it Gleam" Yhe middle of my brain sez not to pull the trigger too early. The sides of my brain tug at each other because I cannot see the logic that would ease the torment. While searching for ideas the answer jumps up from the back of my brain. Mock it up and alter first. It's a chopper. Sure I bought it as one, but it's mine now. My whole brain is screaming, make it your own first. There is cutting and welding to be done. The frame welds are in good shape, some could stand to be cleaned and some just to be redone. The foot controls need to move foward, both rider and pillion. Exhaust and electrical components need to be mounted. Build the bike before I color it.
Fuel Tank???????????????
Split drop tank or Frisco mount.
Split drop for the long and low swoop or Frisco to display some trick frame inlay. I'm diggin on the inlaid thought process. Rub some flava on the frame and use a normally empty section. Many chopper frames leave a large open expanse in between the frame and engine. Fill it in with some artwork. Custom plating or wire design. Now I need to seek out some talent.

Geahead Progression

One thing or is it just the next thing. A gearhead will always tinker. There is a constant need to modify, improve, design and customize the vehicles we own. An established gearhead will have an abundance of tools and the need for one that does the job better. Gearheads have piles of excess parts; taken off and set aside or aquisitioned for future use. The longer that one has been a gearhead the more unfinished projects have collected.
Zippy the Wonder Slug was my first ride. At 21 my Uncle John passed down a 1978 Gs550. I spent a week of nights resurrecting it from it's dormant state. I rode for the summer and rebuilt the engine on my kitchen table that winter. I earned the respect of weathered bikers and the ire of gold card wielding RUB's.
I had a friend wh owned a '79 KZ1000. An old roach that recieved a lot less tlc than Zippy. When it quit running on him, I took it over and kept it alive for one more season. A few years later I picked up Stan, an 85 700 Sabre. Basic maintence meant a lot of saddle time. I passed Stan along to a friend when I moved to Phoenix.
Oddly enough, I found a V65 Sabre five months later. I paid a buck a cc and rode Stimpson J. Sabre for the next eight years. I will never dispute the longevity of a Honda. Where they lack in charisma, the make tenfold in reliability. That bike never left me stranded in the 80,000 miles I rode it. That is not to deny the religious maintence I put into that bike. Machines don't survive on burning gas alone. Stimpy was still in a daily rider when I sold it with 115+ on it. Somwhere along that road, Zippy had been sidelined in favor of the bigger, newer machine. I eventually traded the bike for a computer.
Before I sold the Honda, I had already replaced it with a 200 dollar wonder. PB or Poquito Bandito. Honda and Yamaha had each brought 400 cc bikes to the US market in 1989. Suzuki followed suit in 1991 with the GSF400 Bandit. A previous owner had done a dual disc conversion to the front wheel and installed a full Yoshimura system. The parts alone were worth what I paid. A year later I purchased an identical model in stock trim for 250. It was only natural I call it Dos. A rocker and a stocker. PB had a good start to being a hot rod, and someday it will be. I first engineered an 01 GSX-R750 shock to fit. This was no simple bolt on process, some surgery was required. Being the Parts Geek Extrordinaire that I am, I scored a complete YZF600 Front end for 50 bucks. The front end was a little more of a project. Fasttrack Dave straightened the fron wheel. Jeff turned down the steering stem some. I created a homemade chassis stand and grafted it on.
A good chassis and a 45 mile daily commute are murder on small engines. I ran the piss out of an already high mileage tired motor until the rings gave out. It was only logical to pull the running engine out of the stock bike and put into the good chassis. It held out for another 12000 before it puked too. The first engine has been on my bench half apart for the two years now. PB and Dos are stacked in the garage collecting dust. The plan is to hotrod the engine while it is apart and rering the other one...one of these days. Sad thing is that I have the parts to overhaul one engine as it is and no desire to do it right now.
Lax Attitudes develope when there is a new and shiny bike to move my soul. Last March I bought the greatest motorcycle of the modern era. Mignon, named for my grandmother is a bike truely worthy of her name. Yamaha created the perfect UJM (universal japanese motorcycle) when they put an R1 engine into a steel cradle frame with good brakes, near ideal suspension, a big fuel tank, and the best factory saddle ever. 1500 Dollars for my dream bike, which only had 6300 original miles when I got it. I have already ridden it over 15000 miles in the last seven months. Mods include an MRA VarioScreen, a Dos Hermanos Carbon muffler, and a stiffer shock spring, soft luggage and upgraded lighting. Mignon is my daily ride, and I plan to ride it until the wheels fall off.
My latest project is the ground up chopper. The frame is a raked Triumph with a BSA Super Flash plunger Tail. The engine is a T100R Daytona motor. This bike suits me like no other. I have always had an affinity for small engines. My first mentor hooked me on small Buicks, the 215 V8, 231 and 190 cid V6's. I miss Roger. Dude, wherever you are, I hope you are alive and well. My GS was over shadowed by the 750 and 1000 Superbikes of it's era. The 400's were the smallest of the Suzuki W motors. The 500cc unit twin is often sidelined for the 650 and 750 T120/T140 twins. It's the perfect bike to build. I have always wanted a chopper and now I own the perfect bike to build. It's not a Harley or a wanna be. No mass produced, buy it from a catalog frame or engine. An English bike to reflect my mothers English lineage. I will build this bike with sweat passion and I am sure to bleed on it too. Man and machine, its what makes me a gearhead.